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What Doctors Say and What They Really mean------------ Have a laugh on yourself

"This should be taken care of right away."

- I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

"Wellll, what do we have here...?"

- He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.

"Let me check your medical history."

- I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.

"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."

- I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this is a waste of time. - or-

- I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.

"We have some good news and some bad news."

- The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

"Let's see how it develops."

- Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.

"Let me schedule you for some tests."

- I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

"I'd like to have my associate look at you."

- He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.

"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."

- I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."

- I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

"That's quite a nasty looking wound."

- I think I'm going to throw up.

"This may smart a little."

- Last week two patients bit off their tongues.

"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"

- I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

"This should fix you up."

- The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.

"Everything seems to be normal."

- Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

"I'd like to run some more tests."

- I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

"Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?"

- You're crazier'n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split the fees with me...

"There is a lot of that going around."

- My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.

"If the symptoms persist, call for an appointment."

- I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week.

Comment

Comment by Dr Ramendra Singh on March 5, 2013 at 4:37am: Thank you Riza Mendi and Dehl Sagucio for having a laugh and Dr Moosa Mohammad for sparing few minutes to read it and to criticize it positively. You are right MM in your thinking that layman will think negatively about us but this is a fora of doctors only though they may be of any stream and its for us only . So have a laugh that few of us do behave same in such way .

I am new to this site and not familiar of various buttons here. That's why delay in ack you all.

Comment by Dr Moosa Mohammad on March 4, 2013 at 8:43pm: I never thought this way! I mean what i say. I always think of relieving the suffering of the pain as early as possible and with least expenses to the patient. Thats why i didnt enjoy reading this. If a non medico reads this, then no doubt they will think negatively about all the doctors and what Aamir khan said in the TV channel will be proved correct to such people.

Comment by Dahl Sagucio on March 4, 2013 at 4:31pm: so the first one is an expressed comment, and the other is implied.
in this case: there is a need to be a mind reader to doctors to get them with what they mean.